Vision...Does he have one?

Gone are the days when a guy would come up to you and say something like “Did it hurt, when you fell out of heaven” or “where have you been all my life” or “if I could rearrange the alphabets, I’d put U and I together” and you would melt like butter in a saucepan. Then, we appreciated pick-up lines but now hello! We’re in the 20^th century; it’s what we call being cheesy today (who still uses those anyway?). With times changing and relationships becoming a central topic in everyday life; women are looking for more stable relationships and stable mates. By a stable mate I mean a man with a sound mind. And by a sound mind, I mean a man who is responsible, focused, independent, knows where he’s headed in life and is working towards achieving his goals. Nothing can be more frustrating for a woman than to be stuck with a man who has no vision, and unfortunately some men are walking around with none.

Going back to the bible, Proverbs 29:18 says “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” Having no vision means having no sense of direction and having no sense of direction means settling for just about anything and settling for just about anything leads to confusion and dissatisfaction. According to the oxford dictionary a vision is the ability to think about the future with imagination or wisdom. It is important for every person to have a vision but most notably my focus today is on men because tomorrow they will be leading not only themselves but a wife and children. When we look back at the origin of man in the bible, we realize the true mandate given to men after God created the heavens and earth. Taking it back to Genesis 2:18-22, God had created a man: Adam and gave him a mandate to name every living creature. After God had given Adam the mandate, He realized that “It was not good for Adam to be alone, he needed a helper” and this is when Eve was formed and created. So basically God creates Adam, gives him a mandate to fulfil and after giving him a mandate, God realizes Adam needs a helper. Now, why would God say Adam needed a helper? He could have simply said Adam needs a friend or a companion but He specifically said Adam needs a helper. According to my knowledge you don’t need a helper if there is no work that needs to be done. If a helper is required, it is because there is work that needs to be completed with the assistance of extra hands.

The gist of the story is that; God creates man, gives him a vision/mandate and then blesses him with a helper to fulfil that mandate. So back to my point about men having a vision; a man has to have a God-given vision/ mandate that he needs to fulfil so that by the time the woman is presented to him by God (in marriage), she has something to work with - because she was designed to help. In being designed to be a helper, this doesnot mean that you discard embarking on a journey of discovering Your purpose as a woman, no. It means that you use your purpose to help the man. The problem though is that some men run around looking for the right woman instead of going before God and seeking Him for their God-given vision/mandate so that by the time the woman comes, her God-given attributes are put to good use. How can one help if there is nothing to help with? The sad part in all of this is that we women allow ourselves to fall for men who are still trying to figure themselves out and are still not sure of where they should be or what they should be doing. Usually the result is disappointment; it is the frustration of having nothing to work with because our original design spells “HELPER” “HELP HIM WITH HIS VISION.” If there is no mandate to work with you lie idle in discontentment waiting for him to figure himself out (and that’s if he does).

A man who has no clear understanding of what God has called him to be; run from him unless you do not mind living in frustration for the rest of your life. It is time we set the bar high for men so that they realize the responsibility that God has placed upon them. Compromise will mislead you! He may be a sweet, good guy with all other exceptional qualities but if he has no clue on the direction his life is headed on a spiritual, physical, mental, financial etc. level then you might want to consider – not considering him. Maybe you playing the pity-party saviour card right now of “I can help him discover his God-given vision, just the right push and more church services will get him on the right track…” Yes, you are a helper but helping him discover his vision is not what you are designed to do; you are designed to help him WITH the vision. Let God do His part.

Maybe you asking yourself what I mean by clear vision and mandate… Paul the apostle who wrote half if not more of the New Testament introduced himself at the beginning of every book as “Paul, called to be an apostle of Jesus by the will of God… ” This simply meant that in every book he wrote, he was affirming whom he was because he knew what his mandate was – his God-given vision of preaching the good news to the gentiles. How many men can boldly state and affirm their mandate in Christ? Be it evangelist of Jesus by the will of God or CEO of Jesus by the will of God or musician of Jesus by the will of God or entrepreneur of Jesus by the will of God… It is all about revelation and the understanding of one’s vision or mandate for the glory of God.

So my ladies, this is about the seriousness of a man’s vision; him being knowledgeable about it (acting on it) and you understanding that a man needs to have one (for where there is no vision the people perish). Take a step of faith and stand… Let them know that we won’t settle for less than what God has blessed and esteemed them to be.  In us doing that, we are encouraging our brothers to be better men, better husbands and better fathers (in which we also benefit greatly).

Much love, Be blessed.