The mention of female independence is unfortunately
or fortunately (depending on how one views it) associated and
obfuscated with feminism. Feminism in
itself being a fairly complicated, misunderstood and negatively connoted
concept infamously known for man-hating whilst culminating women to a position
of superiority. In the case of this discussion; female independence will be
narrowed down to a woman’s freedom to express herself and live through her
thoughts, perceptions, dreams and aspirations.
Over the years, the relationship between males and
females has become complex; transcending from a patriarchal relationship to a
scuffling one in terms of power and subordination - a tug of war in an attempt
to prove dominance and significance. The new salient era of the working woman –
career woman has come with intricate developments that blur the male-female
relationship; creating amiss perceptions on how men should relate to women and
how women should most likely relate to men. These complexities are that:
a) Men can be intimidated
by a woman’s strong personality, achievements, goals and aspirations. Starting with the most obvious, it has become
apparent that men can be intimidated and repelled by a woman who seems to surmount
their general expectations in terms of drive, dreams, education and
achievements. This is somewhat viewed to be threatening as it is understood
that the man should and MUST be the puissant (powerful) sex between the two.
Solely for the ego and to keep the woman grounded in terms of respect and
submission.
b) Sometimes a woman’s
drive is beyond aspirations but a mechanism to protect herself from feeling
helpless. With the reoccurring
pattern of women having to singly parent their children because of absent
fathers and husbands; they have used and are using careers and ambitions to
extricate themselves from the burden of dependency. This is to make sure that
even though they may be left to raise the children on their own; they have the
means to provide and live.
c) Even though men may be
said to be intimidated by successful women, today’s young men view unestablished
women as burdensome. When looking at
long-term relationship prospects men today want an established woman,
goal-oriented with aspirations and a job. Which I am sure men would avidly
argue to be the case with women too. But with women it is quite
contravening. On one hand women are to be circumspect of success that might
intimidate men whilst on the other hand, they should strive to be eminent and
maverick to be influential on a social level and to attract the right men on a
relational level. So where do women draw the line; to be or not to be…
successful?
So where do we draw the line and find balance?
To the men: One thing that I believe has disoriented the way men and women relate
is: man’s ability to lead. 1 Corinthians 11:3 states, “Now I want you to realize that
the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head
of Christ is God.” The head of a woman is a man. The head symbolizes love,
covering, leadership, direction, vigilance, alertness and decision-making. Unfortunately
men have misunderstood leadership to be an act of patronizing and obtruding;
suppressing women from expressing their freedom as the subordinates. Women are
called to submit to men but so are men called to submit to Christ. Now the
trick is; leadership comes with responsibility. The one who leads is no longer
responsible for their own life but also for the life of the one they lead;
meaning that men do not only have to account for their lives before God but also for the lives of the women they have led. By women, this means; sisters,
friends, classmates, colleagues, wife and daughters. The reason why women have
taken promethean roles in society is because society is lacking men that are
willing to doughtily lead; lead by example. If men would set out to luminously
direct, protect and defend women instead of fighting and competing with them;
women would not have to fear feeling helpless – their drive in doing things
would solely be based on passion, purpose and expression of freedom rather than
fear, retaliation and rebellion. In turn, men would not have to be intimidated
by women, in understanding that they have been entrusted by God to lead them. Instead of being intimidated by a woman’s
success; the man should be the catalyst of her success. WE NEED MEN LIKE
THESE!!!
To the woman: It can be difficult to be vulnerable in such a repugnant society where
women have to constantly be on guard. 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 asserts that “woman
is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came
from man, so is a man born of a woman.” Women can choose to live
without men but they do not have to. This means in understanding that men are
called to lead; women should blithely encourage men to rise up and take their
leadership roles in society. Instead of decimating and defaming men; women
should uphold and uplift their significance. On the other hand, women should
not be afraid to live in the freedom of their thoughts, views, dreams and
aspirations. They should pursue their utmost potential and live from it.
Submission does not mean oppression but it conjures leadership in submission. You
lead in or rather from submission.
Woman independence may seem ominous to men but it
is rather the shifting and uncertainty of responsibilities that blur the
relationship between men and women. Men have been given by God the
responsibility to lead therefore such a duty is to be considered gingerly and
taken seriously. It is to lead, protect and love. Not to compete, burden,
threaten or belittle. Woman independence
does not have to be a weapon women use to defend and protect themselves but an
expression of a woman’s ability to believe in herself and her aspirations. This
can only be, though, when men take their rightful place as exemplary leaders.
And as for the women, their role is to bring out the leaders in men. For one cannot be independent from the
other. Men, the women need you and women, the men need you.
Much love; Be blessed.
