A man cannot fill that void

Men, men, men, oh men! Love them and to a certain extent resent them at the same time (haha). Romeos one minute and heart-breakers the next, nonetheless we still fall for them anyway. Sometimes I do wonder what it is about them that makes us fall; is it their charm, physique, strength, smile, their innate ability to protect, their embrace or simply their presence? Beats me but all I know is: we spend countless days daydreaming about the “perfect”man who will sweep us off our feet and become our knight & shining armour. Nothing wrong with a bit of dreaming but most of the time this Perfect man/knight & shining armour becomes our social escapism from the real issues that hound us.

Such issues include: loneliness, low self-esteem, neediness, discontentment, fear and rejection. Our hearts deceive us into believing that if Mr Perfect comes along, he will truly be a Knight & shining armour and rescue us from the unscrupulous beast of loneliness, low self-esteem, neediness, discontentment, fear and rejection that we suffer from. Well, unfortunately that does not happen in real life, maybe in the movies. Instead if Mr Perfect (who is really not perfect) does happen to come along, all those negative feelings about yourself are exposed and magnified. A man can tell you that you are beautiful but he cannot make you beautiful, a man can be there when you need him but he cannot fill the emptiness your soul dreads, a man can protect physically but he cannot save you from the fears your heart chants deep within, a man can affirm you day in and out but he cannot re-assure you from the haunting doubts of self and a man can comfort you but cannot feel the depths of what you feel. Moreover women and men are apparently from two opposite worlds, so most of the emotional escapades we go through they have neither clue about nor know how to handle them.

We all want to fall in love at some point in our lives (most ladies would agree with me on this one) with a great man; who will love us, protect us, cherish us, affirm us, respect us, and honour us but I believe we need to start somewhere first. We need to be in love with two people first; Christ and ourselves. Being in love with Christ allows you the contentment that no man can offer you, it beautifies you, uplifts you, fulfils you, embraces you with joy and assures you that you are loved with a perfect love by a Perfect Man (who is really perfect) who shall never disappoint you, hurt you, reject you, give up on you or let go of you. John 15:9 states, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” Real love is found in Christ. He will beautify you with His word, transform you with His love, adorn you with His kindness and secure you with His peace.

It is in this very process of abiding in His love, whereby you will begin to understand that you are not alone – you have a friend in Jesus, who heals, restores, embraces, protects and affirms. And in having Him as a friend you realize that a man is just a by-the-way recreational companion (haha). Ok, they are not just ‘by-the-way recreational companions’ but you get my point? They are not the centre of our existence but Christ is! I am telling you, once you submerge yourself in this truth, you will not need a man to complete you but he will complement who you already are when he comes.

I can’t begin to express the contentment I have found in my relationship with Christ; the more I go deep the more I realize “Man! I don’t need no rescuing from a man, Prince Charming/Knight man can wait…until Christ has me together.” No man will want to deal with your insecurity issues, rejection issues, low self-esteem issues, etc. He has his own baggage to deal with. Let Christ deal with those issues for you because He can and most evidently wants to deal with those issues for you. Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Let us keep our eyes fixed on Christ, (Hebrews 12:2-3) cease the moment and live in the abundance of His love, beauty, security, fulfilment, confidence and peace.

If you have any testimony to share, message or note, please feel free to leave a comment below or e-mail at: lassvilletoryland@gmail.com

Much love, be blessed J