The Silent Catfight

When someone screams “catfight” we know some sisters are probably pulling each other’s hair, rasping on each other with their long finger nails and going all cannibalistic on each other. (Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about) It’s either you have been there before especially with the siblings or have witnessed it at school, a restaurant or town – yes town; some ladies be fabulous like that.

Maybe you’re thinking “when is the last time I witnessed one of those?” Well, I am also trying to reinstate any memory of a kind but none comes to mind except the ones on boring old soapies. Nonetheless it does not mean catfights do not exist anymore. Actually, instead of physical catfights, we now have what I will call ‘the Silent Catfight.’ A silent catfight is fighting a person without them knowing that you are fighting them. Sounds unfair I know, but we do it every day.

Just how exactly do we do that…? (Issues of the heart my friend, issues of the heart) We pull each other down with our words, tear each other to bits with our eyes of envy, strip each other off with hearts of jealousy and ridicule one another with an attitude of ‘I could do it better’, ‘say it better’ or ‘wear it better’. Mark 7:21-23 says “For from within [that is] out of the hearts of men, come base and wicked thoughts… an evil eye [envy], slander [evil speaking, malicious representation, abusiveness], pride [the sin of an uplifted heart against God and man…]” Our hearts become a breeding ground for such thoughts and attitudes against our very own sisters whom the Lord has blessed us with.

A silent catfight is therefore envying your sister, being jealous of them or speaking abysmally about who they are. You are fighting them in your heart with your envy, jealousy and slander without them knowing it. And sometimes it is not even about really saying negative things but the thought of “I wish I had what she has” “What is so special about her to have all that” “I also want what she has” is a sign of envy. I am not saying you should not be motivated by other people’s lives, hard work, fulfilment of dreams but what I am saying is: examine your motive for wanting what they have. We are all guilty of ‘silent catfighting’, but that should not be an excuse to live there and find solace in it because no one can see it. God has called us to love, love one another. Sounds easier said than done, we preach it every day but somehow we have a hard time living from it; it is more of head knowledge than a practical imperative. Love has to be genuine. 1 Corinthians 13:4 states “…love is never envious nor boils over with jealousy…”If I envy my sister, slander her or wish I had what she has, then I am not expressing the love that Christ has called me to freely give which I have freely received by His grace; for this kind of love in not envious nor boils over with jealousy.

These are the things that we need to challenge ourselves on in order for our lives to glorify God in every way. We cannot speak salvation and not live it. 1 Peter 2:1 says “So be done with every trace of wickedness (depravity, malignity) and all deceit and insincerity(pretense, hypocrisy) and grudges (envy, jealousy) and slanderand evil speaking of every kind.” And since this is a matter of the heart, it cannot be dealt with by a change of attitude, behaviour or deeds but it can be dealt with by a change of heart. A change of heart is found in Psalms 51:10,“Create in me a clean/pure heart O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.” This verse has been my secret to a consistent renewal and change of heart; “Create in me a clean O God!” When I feel like I am allowing wicked thoughts to proceed out of my heart, I quickly run to this verse and cry out to the Almighty. When I feel like thoughts of envy or jealousy are creeping in on me, I turn to this scripture for defence. No one is perfect; we all are fighting the good fight of faith but our renewal is dependent on us accepting and acknowledging that we fall short. And not just stopping there but going before the throne of the Almighty and asking for help. 2 Corinthians 12:9 notes “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” The Lord’s power is made perfect in our weaknesses; meaning it is ok opening up about your weaknesses before the Lord, it is ok telling the Lord exactly how you feel; be it envy, jealousy, anger etc. The apostle Paul in the same verse says,“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Sisters, let us love one another, appreciate one another, uplift one another, celebrate each other and take joy in each other’s blessings, accomplishments or successes. Let us not catfight each other but let us come together and live out the truth of the gospel of Christ so that He may be glorified in us and through us. You are all special, beautiful, unique, blessed and capable of achieving the best therefore there is no need of envying the woman next to you. YOU already have what it takes to be the BEST YOU that no one else can ever be (best believe that).

Much love, be blessed.