Men have it easy these days.

“Oh damn the club bout to close in a minute, can I get your number baby so you and I can go get in it. Let me come and pick you up oh and go take you out, oh, can I get your number baby so I can show you what I’m all about…” Remember this song by Mariah Carey and Jermaine Dupri “Get your number”? Had a catchy beat to it – one of those songs that would get you on your feet. Anyway enough about the song, let’s look at the lyrics… From the lyrics, one can ascertain that the possibility of a romance kindling in this scenario is dependent on the guy getting the girl’s number. It seems as though once he gets the number, half the job is done really.

Things have changed so much from the time our parents, grandparents and great grandparents pursued romance. In those days there were no cell phones, let alone landlines. The most efficient means to communicate were telegrams, if not telegrams, personal communication (more of face to face). If a man so wished to see a woman, he would have to linger around her home to wait for her to come out of the house if she happens to be sent by parents to fetch water or fire wood or initially, wait by the river (which was the most popular meeting spot those days) what we would have today as cinemas, restaurants or clubs (as the lyrics suggest). A young woman, then, if a man was declaring his love; would take ages to reply – it would be months and sometimes years before she could say yes. Maybe probably then it’s because the declaration of a man’s love was binding; more of a marriage proposal - which is probably why both men and women took it seriously. The men put in all the effort to show their love and prove their commitment whilst the women took time to think, process and come to terms with the responsibility that lay ahead if they agreed.

Awww but these days… Guy meets girl, asks for number and gets it that very second of enquiry. Calls that evening to confirm the number, and the next day, ok probably for a week (just to play off as being committed) then soon adds her on Whatsapp, and that’s pretty much how the story goes. Just like that! Everything else happens on Whatsapp; the asking out, the dating, the dumping etc. Sounds way way easier, more modified than the way our old folks had to go about it right? I am sure most guys are like, “Thank God, we don’t have to go through that anymore.” We do appreciate the efficiency of digital technology and social networking which affords instant communication with a virtual experience but in as much as it has afforded us such opportunities; it has also taken away certain virtues.

Genesis 29: is the story of Jacob falling in love with one of Laban’s daughters – Rachel. Genesis 29:18 reads, “Jacob was so in love with Rachel and said, I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” Verse 20 states, “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” In the end, Jacob actually served fourteen years for Rachel. Yes, 14 years for a woman! He must have really loved her. How many men today can actually pursue a woman for that long? Very few I presume. There are important issues that I want to highlight from this story about a love relationship between a man and a woman according to the Bible.

1)             When a man loves a woman, he ought to serve for her. Jacob served Laban 14 years for him to get permission to marry Rachel. And the lesson here is: a man has to have a serving heart to rightfully earn a woman’s hand in marriage. As Jacob laboured before Laban, so do men have the responsibility to labour before God for His daughters. They have to prove before the Lord that they are honourable enough to marry His daughters. This means giving up their pride, ego and selfish needs. Ephesians 5:25 poses, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her…” This is deep and quite a huge responsibility. How will a man give himself up for his wife if he couldn’t do so prior?

2)             There has to be parental consent. I remember listening to Paul Washer a while back about doing relationships the biblical way and thinking, “Is this man serious?” He challenged me to the core and anyone else who listens to his sermons will tell you the same. If a man loves a woman and wants to pursue a relationship with her; he has to go via her parents or guardian. Sounds CRAZY I know. I mean what happened to getting a girl’s number, hitting on her (ok, not hitting for the brothers but showing interest and eventually professing his love) a girl reciprocating that love, deciding on getting married, and then involving the parents? Well, according to the bible, the guy does not get the number. He goes to the parents first, asks for permission to see daughter with intention to marry, gets the permission then gets the number. (I am sure some of you are shaking your heads right now) Obviously it does not necessarily happen in that sequence (getting the number - just making a point) but you get the idea: guy gets permission from parents first to date daughter with the intention to marry her. Not the business of dating first then telling the parents afterwards. Why? It protects you from unnecessary heartbreak. If a guy is not really serious about you, the moment you mention parents; that will be his cue to leave. He will skid off the opposite direction.

3)             When a man loves a woman, no matter how long he has to wait; he will wait. Whether he is waiting for her before the Lord or has to ask for permission from her parents or she is still praying about it, when he really loves her - a few years will only be a few days to him. He will have the patience to wait for her, to labour for her and to prove his worth before God or her parents. 

Unfortunately, men have it easy these days. They do not feel the need to work hard for a woman’s affection and love since women do the working. The world culture today; teaches women to consistently live under the pressure of always having to prove one’s self even in relationships. The woman has to put in all the energy to prove she is the ‘marrying type’ for the brother to budge whilst on the contrary, the bible shows that men are the one’s to prove their worth for a woman’s hand in marriage. Men no longer have to seek for parent’s permission to date a woman, if they can easily get her number and pursue her. The thought of waiting forever for a woman is just a daunting one, let alone probably a time-consuming one; why wait – if there are dozens of fish in the sea right?

The principles stated above may seem rather ridiculous and outdated but I must say that they are very much beneficial as they teach men to better serve their wives, homes & families, they teach men to respect women & honour them, and they teach men to love. Love is not about having options but it is a pursuit to selflessly serve one woman. In favour of the women, these principles help to determine how serious a man is about committing to loving you and having you as his wife. Imagine the assurance Rachel had of Jacob’s love after he laboured 14 years in her father’s house for her. A man who is truly committed to loving you will take on the responsibility of serving for you, risk the nerve wrecking; death sentence of meeting the parents at the very beginning and patiently embrace the time it may take to have you. The man who finds it hard and labouring to do this is simply proving that he is not man enough for you and cannot be trusted to lead your life. If he happens to walk away, do not feel bad; he is not the one for you. God will bring a Jacob.

The message behind this piece; is to say, let us consider such biblical principles on how to go about doing relationships. This is not to punish men and slave labour them but it is to encourage biblical foundations that will reinstate values which will build, uplift and protect our marriages. Strong foundations birth strong marriages, doing things right always attracts God’s immeasurable blessings.

Much love, be blessed.

Think about it; is he or she worth it? Part 2

“Do not forsake her, and she will protect you, love her and she will love over you… Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her and she will honour you. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendour…” Proverbs 4:6,8,9. She has the qualities of a woman but is not a woman, have any idea who or what this verse is referring to?  Wisdom.

In the previous article, I made reference to wisdom as key in choosing our relationships; highlighting questions or issues that should not be overlooked in the process. Four were mentioned and they are: 1) Is the potential partner or already partner born again? 2) Does the relationship draw one closer to God?  3) Does one always give more than what they get from the relationship 4) Is there mutual respect?  This week’s article will be a continuation from the previous article (as promised).

Continuing on the questions that one should ask before entering a relationship or about a relationship, if already in one:

5)        What is the motive for pursuing the relationship? Sometimes the pursuit of a relationship is not because of mutual compatibility but due to pressures of family, time, loneliness, friends etc. In other cases it may not be pressure but reasons of money, social status, desperation etc. Such motives lack in sustaining a relationship as they are founded more on self rather than on love, growth, maturity of both parties in the relationship. So, do sit down and evaluate the real reason you want to get married. If it happens to be a selfish one then take it to Christ, tell Him exactly how you feel and He’ll offer you the antidote. 

6)          Is there communication? Communication is not a one way process whereby it requires the other to listen to your views but it is a two way process whereby you do not only express your views to be heard but also listen to the other person’s views. Communication requires listening. In this case, you have to assess whether you are both able to listen to each other. Listening is not necessarily lending an ear but it is also about initiating a significant response. Most people think when you talk about communicating, it is with reference to major issues like money, goals, aspirations; not really. It is actually about the little things that you may think are insignificant but could influence the state of the relationship, like being a person of your word, paying attention to what the other person likes and doesn’t like, responding to their requests and being open - transparent.  

7)          Does this person complement your future goals and aspirations? This is very important. Does this person you hope to spend the rest of your life with share the same aspirations as you or not necessarily share the same aspirations but support them? If they are totally opposite the spectrum of where you envision yourself in the future then there is a possibility you might end up frustrated in the long run. They do not necessarily have to be as passionate as you are about your aspirations, goals and dreams but their support and a bit of know how can go a long way. Someone who is totally clueless about what you love to do and neither makes the effort to find out and show support; may just not be for you.  

8)        Are they overly possessive? Possessive people are suffocating on every level; spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, etc. Such people normally take away what you are to replace it with what they think you should be, in order for them to accept you. They dismantle your self-esteem making you dependent on them for the approval of self. Usually, they tell you what do to, where to go, where not to go, who to be friends with, what to wear, how to look, basically how to live your life (like all along you didn’t know…). If you encounter such a situation, it is best to refrain early because such relationships are said to be addictive. A person who does not allow you to be yourself does not love you, period! It does not matter how you may justify it. They are only using the relationship to relieve their insecurities.

9)            Do you feel the need to change them? This one is different from possessiveness as it is about being dissatisfied with who a person is in hope that they will change. There is the tendency to think that one can groom their partner especially when they feel the person falls short in some areas of (for example) character, appearance, manners, being, etc. Truth is; it never works. It is either, it frustrates the changer if the change does not occur the way they’re hoping it to occur, or the person to be changed gets frustrated by the attempts being made to change them. If you are not satisfied with who a person is and find it hard to love them as they are; let them go. Do not tag them along with the intention of changing them because it will not work. Love a person for who they are not for what you hope them to be.

10)    Are you aware of their strengths and weaknesses? Being aware of a person’s weaknesses and strengths helps prevent any shock waves and unexpected surprises in the future. It enables you to calculate whether you will be able to live with this person’s weaknesses - covering them in love whilst also complementing their strengths. A person’s weaknesses are not there for you to lay bare but for you to cover as a loving future husband or wife. If you calculate the cost and happen to forecast a loss that you cannot recover (just like in accounting) then it is best to consider things early, avoiding the risk of hurting the other person in the future. Don’t worry about them, God will either continue fixing them or will bless them with someone who will find what you thought to be a risk - a blessing and what you thought to be weaknesses - strengths.

In highlighting these factors, it does not mean that the one may be better than the other. It just means that use the wisdom of God to discern what is God’s best for you as you pursue a relationship that is to honour God.  “Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her and she will honour you. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendour.” That is wisdom. She will protect you from getting into the wrong relationship which will not only break your heart but bring distress and bitterness. If you esteem her, she will order your steps into a righteous path of green pastures. I pray that the wisdom of God may overflow upon you as you wait upon the Lord and as you seek guidance on how to go about in your relationships. She is yours to take…

Special thanks to Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s book titled “How to choose a life partner, 165 questions to ask.” The questions were extracted from the 165 questions and they were chosen on the basis of importance. To note though: the content with reference to the questions is personal. If you would love to read more on what questions to ask, well, you can purchase her book. (It is all the way from Nigeriaoooh, yep! We taking it back to Nigeria!)

Much love, be blessed.          

Think about it, is he or she worth it?

There are multiple reasons why people enter relationships; to find love, for self-enrichment, for fulfilment and for others, to change their relationship status from single to “in a relationship.” The most salient reason for one to enter a relationship is the purpose of loving; to love. In choosing to love, there are factors that one needs to consider in weighing the pros and cons of any relationship because the relationships one chooses determine the level of personal growth and advancement.

For the longest time, we have entered into relationships ignorantly and unequipped thinking that survival is inherent and not planned or decided. Feelings and emotions are not enough to sustain a relationship because they change and as it has been said before choosing to love a person – the act of love is what determines your level of commitment and probability of the relationship surviving. This notion of choosing to love a person has come with an incomplete manual as it does not reveal in what conditions you choose to love. Do you choose to love in all conditions or choose those that suite your personal attributes, needs, beliefs, goals & aspirations? For a moment, this sounds rather selfish and for most, the default answer would be; “to love in all conditions.” Well, if we were talking about loving thy ‘neighbour’ as yourself or loving thy brethren it would be fitting but in this case we’re talking about a commitment between two people that potentially leads them into a life long covenant (marriage). The consequences of possibly getting it wrong have detrimental irreversible effects.

Proverbs 4:7 connotes that wisdom is the principal thing. Verse 6 says, “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you, love her and she will love over you.” Sometimes what we lack is simply the wisdom of God. When it comes to the issue of relationships, we become so blinded by ‘love’ whereby we forsake wisdom; forsaking her hand of rebuke, her words of “watch out”, her voice of “don’t go there” and her instruction of “stay out of it, it’s not worth it”. Some of the things we need to watch out for in relationships are made so obvious to us by the Spirit of God - His wisdom but somehow we always find a way to overlook and justify them. There are a number of questions that one needs to ask before entering a relationship or if one is already in a relationship; question about the relationship.

1)         Is your potential partner or already partner born again? 2 Corinthians 6:14 posits, “Do not be equally yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Yes, that’s the comparison the bible makes; light and darkness but even though the bible states it so clear that we are not to yoke ourselves with unbelievers, we still do and surprisingly make excuses for it. An unbeliever is a person who does not live the life of complete submission to the authority of Christ. Going to church is one thing, living the life of covenant with God is another - which is what being a believer is. The most familiar excuse for this one is playing the Good Samaritan in the relationship – hoping to convert a brother or sister by dragging them to church. Let me tell you now, it may have worked for others but you cannot guarantee it will work for you especially when you know deep down your heart that God does not approve of you being in that relationship.

2)     Does the relationship draw you closer to God? A relationship that compromises your spiritual growth and purity is not worth it. Amos 3:3 indicates, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” You cannot walk with a person that is spiritually cold or luke-warm and expect to continue being spiritually acuate; because who they are will likely dampen your zeal and passion to live upright in pursuing the things of God. If you’re in a relationship, let it be a two-way contribution whereby both of you become spiritual assets in each other’s walk. If you find yourself compromising the word of God to please your partner then you might want to consider leaving the relationship, for what good will it be for you to gain ‘love’ and lose your soul? (Matthew 16:26)

3)          Do you always give more than what you get from the relationship? Now we’re getting real. Yes, love is patient, kind, selfless, is not proud and all the beautiful things in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, but it has to be mutual in the case of a relationship. Some relationships just serve to drain the other individual; emotionally, physically, socially, financially etc. You find that one partner puts in all the energy, time and effort to make the relationship work and the other just sits there waiting to receive. Do not be deceived into thinking that the more you put in, the more they will realize how much you love them. Such people are usually ungrateful and always want more but are never willing to give out anything. Save yourself the heartache and look for the fire escape (exit). Love should be selfless from both parties involved and not lopsided.

4)         Is there mutual respect? Touchy subject. In a case of being friends first (which is what is required) there is always the risk of crossing respect boundaries as you become comfortable with each other. As gathered, men interpret respect to be love and for ladies, well, quality time, provision etc. are interpreted as being loved. This though does not mean women do not value respect too. To respect is being able to listen to the other, being sensitive to their needs, esteeming who they are along with what matters to them the most, taking them seriously and trusting them enough to let them be themselves. If a person cannot show respect in the early stages of your commitment then nothing will change in marriage, instead it gets worse. Hoping that they change will not solve the issue. You speak it out, if your partner really cares they will listen and do something about it but if not then reconsider. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

If you are in a relationship or considering one, these are some of the factors that you need to ponder upon using the wisdom of God. Do not plunge into unyielding relationships in the name of love. Use the wisdom of God, use His spirit to discern what is good, what is of God and what will glorify & honour Him.

Much love, be blessed.

Walk whilst you wait, don’t just sit there!

If there is one thing that can gruesomely test one’s ability to endure; it has to be waiting. From the daily routines of queuing in grocery stores, waiting for taxis at the bus stop to personal needs like waiting for a loan approval or response to an application; it requires some level of bearing with the situation until the required action or response is granted. Well, when it comes to even more serious personal matters like relational matters, waiting for ‘the right man’ (as I will refer it) does not get any easier.

Over the years, we have and are experiencing an ‘instant-transaction-environment’ whereby we access commodities at a fast paced rate ‘you buy now, get it now.’ Everything is moving towards the ideals of saving time, making it easier, simplifying and accessing it faster. Thus anything that requires one to wait is viewed as inconvenient, time consuming and out-dated.  Unfortunately or rather fortunately depending on how one may view it, not everything is instant; some things require one to wait and a husband is one of those things. Due to the fast-paced environment we’re now living in, waiting ‘for the right man’ has become irrelevant as most women are on the husband-rush. I am sure if there was a company selling instant husbands; women would certainly disburse their money for this one. The problem with this ‘instant consumption’ is that certain principles that God uses to build our characters are overlooked. Colossians 3:12 states “Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Patience is the principle I am looking for. How are we to clothe ourselves with patience if we are not willing to wait for anything? Normally when we wait for something to be or to manifest, it is not because God is not able to do it or because He is encountering technical problems in supplying it; it is usually because He wants us to exercise patience – to grow in being patient. Romans 8:25 confers, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”  

For most ladies, the waiting season becomes a season of doom, dread and despair (the tripple d). A few may view it as a time to work on ones’ self, a time to enjoy the benefits of being single and a time to grow. Instead of focusing on the season at hand, most ladies fast-forward; living from a place of “When I get that husband then I will start living… then I will be happy…” which robs them of the blessing of living in the now, the joy that comes with it and the priceless experiences that birth wisdom. The waiting period is a gift that women should embrace and utilize for their own upliftment. In utilizing this gift, one can:

a)           Pray: "Pray without ceasing" as 1 Thessalonians 5:17 instructs. Prayer is our way of communicating with the Father; the more we communicate with Him, the more He reveals who He is to us, His will, His purpose for our lives and most importantly who we are in Him. By this being revealed, one will have a clear mind-set as to where God is taking them meaning that even in choosing a life partner one will be led by the Spirit and not the flesh. It is easy to get deceived into marrying the wrong person if minimum investment is made in prayer. Looks fade, charm is deceptive and flamboyance is for a while but a man that has his heart sold out for Christ is a treasure (which is hard to find). The times we’re living in are quite critical as wolves masquerade in sheep skin disguising themselves as angels of light, they can only be stripped naked for who they really are by prayer.  Therefore the emphasis on prayer cannot dare be understated.

b)           Invest in you: Take this time and opportunity to seek direction from the Lord, to understand yourself, to put your dreams in place, to explore and to experience. Do not let this time get wasted by you whining about how long you have been waiting or how long you have to wait for a husband. Keep going and the husband will find you walking in-waiting. Proverbs 12:24 evokes, “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labour.” Being diligent with this time offers you rewards whilst lazing around and whining hands you over to slavery. In this case, slavery of worldly expectations and pressures. If you do not use this time to seek God and glorify Him in your waiting, the world will tell you what to do with that time; enslaving you to fruitless & unyielding vain imaginations and desires.

c)           Have fun in Christ: Ecclesiastes 11:9 says, “Rejoice O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth….” Rejoice O young woman in your youth! Let your heart be of good cheer. Allow Christ to fill you with joy and do things that will activate this joy from within. Do fun activities, challenge yourself, hang out with family or friends, visit places, travel, go camping, start a social group to empower others, go for music classes, etc. (whatever that suits you best). DO NOT JUST SIT THERE!

d)          Build your expectations: For whatever that you may hope for in a husband & the future, start praying for it and building on it now. Your expectations of a future relationship that should lead to marriage are to be established at this juncture. Do not wait until last minute because that will lead to confusion and uncertainty which is likely to lead you to settle for just about anything (which is a big no! no!). We do not just settle ladies; we get the best from the throne room of heaven. Proverbs 23:18 (KJV) enunciates, “…and thine expectation shall not be cut off.” This meaning that whatever you expect to have or receive is what will be given to you. So what are you expecting? If you have no expectations then unfortunately you will receive just about anything, if you have low expectations then you will receive mediocre yields and if you have high expectations then you will receive unfathomable returns. This also goes for the kind of man you ask for from the Lord. As you wait, build on those expectations.       

The principle in waiting is exercising patience and in exercising patience using the time profitably. As we wait my sisters in the Lord, let whining be not found amongst us but prayer, investment in ourselves, having fun and an increase in our expectations. Cheers to that!

Much love, blessed.

 

The Singleness Stigma

“1 universe, 8 planets, 192 countries, 180 497 islands, 85 seas, 7 billion people and you are still single… LOL poor you.” This is a Facebook status update that caught my attention in a newspaper article that I happened to read. This is the era we living in; an era of “I need someone by side” “I need someone to love me” “I can’t be alone” “I have to have someone in my life.” Which made me question if everyone is meant to be in a relationship just because one can easily be in one or because one has found a person whom they can journey with into marriage with the purpose of discovering life together and living it?

Relationships have been idealized in our modern-day culture to the point where they seem to have lost purpose and meaning. This culture says “As long as you have someone to love you then you are ok” and “you are accepted” if the contrary applies then this culture says “why are you single?” “find ‘love’ a.s.a.p” “how are you surviving on your own?” “Poor you”, which results in most people opting to be in relationships and staying in them with no insightful intention - to avoid being stigmatized for choosing to be alone.  Being alone takes guts; it needs you to be willing to stand despite the daily pressures of succumbing to purposeless love quests. I say purposeless because for most, the intention to be in a relationship is to enjoy the comfort of having someone’s attention which affirms one’s level of acceptance; basically feeding off from a relationship to feel secure, loved, accepted and worth it.

According to 1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” From what is mentioned in the above paragraph, it contradicts the true nature of love. If a person gets into a relationship for personal gain (wanting to be loved, needing to feel secure, longing for acceptance) then that is not love. Love is about sacrificing You for the person you so love instead of you needing to be loved, accepted and needing to feel secure - you sacrifice yourself to make the other person feel loved, accepted and secure. Truth is; most relationships are based on selfish motives – “as long as they make me happy”, “as long as they cater to my needs” and “as long as they love me” then I am happy. And really, to an extent we cannot blame people for thinking that way because that is what we are regurgitating from secular media. Forgetting that secular media is not the author of love but God is, and if God is the author then He surely knows the right way to go about loving.

Differing from the belief of sympathizing with single individuals; there are premium advantages that come with this season, despite the fact that it is viewed as a midlife crisis that needs a rescuer.  At this stage of life; one is able to cut through the clutter, do some introspection, evaluate things and focus on what matters the most. In this process, one goes through a self-discovery journey which allows them to understand who they are, giving God the time and attention to reveal whom and what He has called them and ordained them to be (purpose). One may argue that God can do that even when one is in a relationship but I will dispute that as it depends with the nature of the relationship one is in. If it is a godly relationship then yes. By godly relationship I mean one that not only puts Jesus Christ at the centre of everything but also allows both parties to draw closer to Christ in their relationship.

Being single allows one to invest in themselves; taking the time to know themselves, love themselves, believe in themselves, dream for themselves and establish themselves holistically – psychologically, emotionally, financially, socially, materially etc. In loving yourself, you will know how to love the next person. Mark 12:31 posits that “Love your neighbour as yourself...” Meaning that as you love yourself, love another. Logic is: you cannot love another if you (yourself) are clueless on how to love you. Most of us think we know how to love ourselves but shockingly if we reflect on the Author of love’s version of love then our version is a misfit. Summarily His version commands: respect yourself, value yourself, honour your body, dress modestly and carry yourself with honour and dignity like a Queen because you are heavenly royalty. When you understand this truth, apply it and live in it then you will realize that you are meant to respect your neighbour, to value them, to honour their body, to treat them with honour and dignity, etc. Your neighbour could be anyone including a partner in a relationship.

The single life also awards one the time to grow in their relationship with Christ without any hindrances. 1 Corinthians 7:34 says “And the unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit...” This is not say that in a relationship you do not have the opportunity to so, you do as long as both of you in the relationship are in one accord in seeking Christ and doing His will. Amos 3:3 questions, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” You have to agree in order to walk together; if you do not then it will be hard to keep in sync. So if both your hearts are focused on the Lord then it will be easy to pursue Christ and grow in Christ through the relationship.

  

Having someone to love is a beautiful thing; this is not to dispute that. But it is important to understand that having that person should not be propagated by the pressure to be with someone because the world says so. Be with someone because you have grown in love and understand that God wants you to be a blessing in someone else’s life by you “laying down your life for them” (you understand the purpose of being in that relationship). Being single is also a beautiful thing; because it allows you to grow and mature in love so that when the time comes to love; you understand the responsibility and implications that come with it. So to whomever that thinks being Single is a sad case; the single life is a process that prepares an individual for a future union ordained by God to display His glory and honour. The wise respect and appreciate it because they understand that the principles and values learnt from being single come a long way; it is more or less like investing in the future.

Much love, be blessed.